Think like a lawyer…but not for too long or your brain might hurt
Two axioms I hear all the time about the law and lawyers:
1. Law school doesn’t teach the law, it teaches you how to think like a lawyer.
2. Lawyers are [insert deragatory term here].
I find truth in both of these statements but for different reasons. Law school really does teach a person to think like a lawyer…but how? And sometimes lawyers do get a bad rap, primarily because we are known to give the classic post-modern lawyer answer: “it depends.” So let’s explore this.
I love the horse races. There are no better gambling pursuits than horses and craps. There just aren’t. So of course I was excited to head out to Arlington Park this past weekend to watch the ponies run. As I was taking a look at the Arlington Park website to see what is and what is not allowed in the track, I came across this statement:
Prohibited Items Include:
-Glass Containers
-Alcohol
-Commercially packaged foods
-Liquids and non-alcoholic beverages will be allowed only in their original sealed container
I brought this to the attention of my wife and as we discussed these rules…primarliy the one disallowing commercially packaged foods…it became clear that we had completely different views on what this meant. And herein lies a perfect example to show how lawyers think.
Start with a Rule
Usually, lawyers start any analysis with a rule. A client has a problem and needs to know what to do…we need a rule to guide us. So, the problem here is I want to bring some food and drink into the racetrack, but the rules are that (1) I’m not allowed to bring in anything commercially packaged; (2) I must bring in beverages in their original packaging; and (3) no glass.
Continue with additional interpretation
The rule itself doesn’t clear up the entire issue for a few reasons. First, I’m not exactly sure what “commercially packaged” means in this context. Second, the beverage rule seems to be an exception to the rule against bringing anything into the track that is commercially packaged. If these rules were laws (as in, enacted by the legislature), there would be countless other resources I could look to that would aid my interpretation of the rule.
There would no doubt be cases upon cases where judges define the term “commercially packaged” and “beverage” and then apply those definitions to cases before them. Even these cases wouldn’t say the same thing, though. They may all use the same definitions of key terms, but many would come out in opposite places in their application of the rules to the facts at hand.
There would also likely be administrative regulations providing further guidance on these rules, written by the government agency tasked with enforcing the laws. In this case, the Department of Home-Brought Food and Beverage might make some rules also defining the terms and providing some examples for everyone to peruse.
Finally, there would be treatises and other analyses written by attorneys who practice in the home-brought food and beverage area. These resources would describe the key cases at issue and how the courts apply previous case law, regulations and their own judicial preferences in ruling on similar cases.
End by testing the rule in real life
In the end, somebody has to be the guinea pig and show up to the track with questionable materials to see how far the rule extends. Three examples:
(1) I show up with a container of hummus that I bought at the store. Seemingly, this is “commercially packaged” BUT I rip all of the labels off of the container so it now resembles a tupperware container. Is this allowed? The letter of the law says no…the hummus was commercially packaged (in that, it came straight from a manufacturer) and it’s not allowed. But does that make sense? What if I had a tupperware container that was the exact same as the container that the hummus originally came from? It would be okay if I transfer the contents of the hummus to the new container, but it is not okay if I leave it in an identical container?
(2) I show up with a glass jar of salsa. The catch here is that I enjoy the salsa as a tasty beverage (it’s the thin kind). I run afoul of the “no commercially packaged” food rule AND the rule against glass containers. However, since it’s a non-alcoholic beverage I’m required to bring my salsa into the track in its original, sealed container. Is this a rule that cannot be complied with in this case? Which rule wins? Does salsa qualify as a beverage solely because I drink it?
(3) I bring into the track 50 pizzas on dollies. The pizzas are from Dominos. The pizzas are not commercially packaged since they’re cooked and packaged at a retail location…but this obviously violates the spirit of the rules allowing food and drink. Right?
Clearly, thinking like a lawyer makes the brain hurt and/or ooze from one’s ears. But these are the types of issues lawyers are faced with everyday…makes the “it depends” answer more reasonable…I hope.
Adoption Expense Tax Credit: Part II
Here is Part Deux to a four-part series on the Adoption Expense Tax Credit…a nice benefit for adoptive parents. This installment: Adopting Special Needs Children.
http://www.growninmyheart.com/special-needs-adoption-tax-credit
Top Chef: Business Law and Ceviche
Ever watch Top Chef and wonder how on earth any of the contestants, no matter how talented, become
Babysitters Club: Tax and Business Law Aspects
The Babysitters Club was a fictional group of young girls who, in a series of books and movies, babysat for extra money and entertained pre-teen girls all around America. Although the Babysitters Club books were geared toward exploring the angst of adolescence, a very important lesson can be learned about business. Don
Planning Business Succession and (hopefully) Retirement
Great article here about, among other things, Francesca’s restaurant in Chicago and its growth from one location into nineteen. Stories like this are great, but they always make me think about the business owner’s self-made problem…let me try to explain.
You spend 20 years growing your business. It works. You grow, you’re profitable, people want to be associated with you and your brand is known and respected in the market. Now what? Problem here is, if you get burned out, you don’t have too many options. It’s not like having a mid-life (or quarter-life) crisis and giving it all up to backpack the Alps is in the cards because more than likely if you leave, the business dies.
What to do? Well, there are two options. First, selling the business outright. Second, business succession planning which may include a sale. What’s the difference? Basically, the first option is geared toward a quick strike…but as we know from years of watching ER, it’s not always good to pull the knife out of the patient. If the owner sells and leaves quickly, the business may die.
In cases like this…where the owner’s charisma and presence make the business what it is and contribute significantly to its ongoing success…the answer is clear: business succession planning. Key questions here:
-Who has the technical ability to take over?
-Who has the charisma to develop and market the business?
-How should these folks be paid?
-What role will the owner take on as he/she transitions out of the business?
-How can the goodwill of the business remain intact through the transition?
These are key questions, and once answered must be thought of in a larger context of being tax-wise and business savvy.
